Photo Credit - Remington Write / Oddly, not everyone thinks this is a great place to live.
I didn’t even think about it, I just reached over and clipped whoever it was for saying whatever it was they said (we’re talking decades ago, btw) and immediately apologized.
“I’m so sorry! I really hate it when anyone does that to me. I don’t know what I was thinking. Really. Sorry!”
“It’s ok. I don’t care. It’s not like that hurt or anything.”
At the advanced age of 27, I had the sudden shocking insight that not everyone liked or disliked the same things I did.
Whoa.
This certainly undermines that kindergarten standard, Do Unto Others as You Would Have Them Do Unto You, in a big way. Let’s look at some of the things you may be thinking of doing Unto Me that I might not appreciate but that you happen to think are Golden.
And, of course, vice versa.
What, wait. You say you don’t mind being interrupted (are you sure?)?
Hey. Who am I to say what you like or don’t like? You’re ok having Sid talk over you at breakfast again, I’m ok with you being ok. But you and Sid wanna keep your yaps zipped while I’m talking. We clear?
Check this out.
There are actually people in this world who enjoy spending hours every day perfecting their outfits and grooming. Not me, but it’s not up to me to make sure everyone else dresses like a 9-year-old hippie kid (even if it is loads more sensible and has the added benefit of making mornings easy peasy). Doing Unto Others as I Would Have Them Do Unto me would leave a lot of otherwise picture-perfectly beautiful people cranky and unable to leave their homes.
See? Not so golden.
Kids. Hoooo, boy, does most of the rest of humanity not share my preference not to procreate! It’s a total mystery to me why anyone willingly chooses to jettison their lives and potentially wreck their health to make more people. 8,000,000,000 aren’t enough? Ok, babies are cute AF. But teenagers? Really?
Same goes for dogs, btw.
When I got my acceptance letter from Columbia University and had begun throwing all my favorite t-shirts into a bag, a close friend’s husband was genuinely mystified.
“New York City? You gotta be kidding? Why would you or anyone want to live in the asshole of the universe?!”
I guess I should just be grateful that there are people like Mike. With over eight million of us here in NYC already things are getting tight. And rents? Get outta here!
While I understand in my head that it’s natural and even good that we all don’t like or dislike the same stuff, in my dark and secret heart I’m pretty certain that anyone who doesn’t like New Order is a mouth-breathing pinhead. Surely these people are delusional or simply uninformed.
So, you have all been warned.
Whether you like ’em or not, everyone on my Christmas list is getting bootleg New Order CDs. Just me following that old Golden Rule, ya know?
Wait.
You’re right. I don’t do Christmas. Never mind!
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That's such an incredible picture AND it makes me hyperventilate.