You’re right. This was originally written pre-pandemic so the lack of places where women can congregate to have sex anymore should be at least somewhat understandable. And yet, somehow to me it is not.
I’m not as hungry as I used to be, but I would love to have a women’s bathhouse to go to every so often where I could just hang out, relax, and have sex with other women. I don’t think this is too much to ask. I live in freaking New York City. Come on.
Once I was a card-carrying member of the Lesbian Sex Mafia (LSM) and over the years I’ve been to a not insignificant number of women’s sex parties. True, I’ve been to more mixed sex parties, straight and otherwise, but back in the day I went to Throb when it was down on East Houston and later I’ve gone to Submit out in Brooklyn. I really (really) hate to perpetuate any kind of stereotypes, but you know what most of the women were doing at these sex parties?
Talking.
There were always couples or threesomes off in some tantalizing nook having at it and they were A) young and B) had arrived together or arranged to meet. There would also be a couple of floggers in action, but the majority of the women were sitting in groups, chatting.
I would push myself to go because I really wanted to roll around with some women again. While I don’t wear my “Kiss Me, I’m Bi” baseball cap to these parties, I also don’t lie. That has gotten me unceremoniously dumped more than once.
Nature of the beast.
Probably the most casual play sex I’ve had with women was in the years when La Trapeze was still open. Yes, yes, it was a swingers’ club and attracted exactly the clientèle you’re picturing right now. Actually there were two basic demographics who showed up there most Saturday nights: slightly dumpy white swingers from Jersey and Long Island and crowds of enthusiastic young people of color. I have had some very fun nights there and generally not with the old white swingers (many of whom fell asleep after one or two romps…..what??).
But La Trapeze is gone. SPAM, the super wonderful gay underwear party in Brooklyn folded after over a decade of delirious decadence. SPAM had two basic house rules, beyond the common sense etiquette of any sex party: Strip down to your underwear at the door and no heterosexuals. I have had some fantastic sex at SPAM over the years but almost never with cis-women. They would tend to arrive in couples and groups, take one look at me with my male partner(s), and disappear into the women’s only nook. Following would only get me ignored.
Obviously, it’s not a great time for anonymous sex in New York City. Most of the best parties and clubs are gone. Only one gay sauna survived the pandemic. For men, however, there is still quite a variety of fuck-parties happening all around the city (ok, maybe not in Staten Island).
And there are also outfits like House of Scorpio and CheckMate. Several of these parties require applications including photos. Due diligence required that we apply to at least a couple of these places and were duly turned down. We did enjoy the Taste the Rainbow meet and greet at House of Scorpio’s very nicely set up loft in Brooklyn, but when it came to one of their kissing parties, it was just awkward. We took the hint and let our membership expire.
Clearly, we’re too old and weird now. It was ok when I was younger and weird, but being old, weird, female, and liking sex is bucking one too many trends. Still, I like to think that if women had a club with a sauna, steam room, large comfortable common room and lots of little rooms with beds, I’d get some action. And, yes, probably some wonderful conversation as well.
Oh, well, let the young people have at it. One day their clubs and parties will go away and they will be old and not get invited to the private parties. They can’t imagine that day but it’s coming a lot faster than they think.
Until then, have a great time, kids.
I did (even without ladies’ bathhouses).
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Funny that Medina doesn’t have anything like this.