Ok, right. Right. Right, I get it. Not ALL the straight men in this world are emotionally stunted, seething women-hating, walking talking time bombs just waiting for that prick ahead of him to not use his turn signal.
Now that we have our disclaimer out of the way, I am here to share my considerable personal experience with straight men. Not pretty.
Based on these numerous experiences I can say without hesitation that many — ok, probably not most, but many — straight men are emotionally stunted, seething women-hating, walking talking time bombs just waiting for that prick ahead of him to not use his turn signal. And this little old queer lady crosses the street to avoid them.
The first time I got cracked upside my head regularly — other than by my Mom — was in my first serious relationship. I also got punched and shoved into walls, stuff Mom never did. Then, having finally moved on from that, I got called names and denigrated on a daily basis in my first serious relationship after I got sober (clearly, my picker still needed adjusting). Over the years I have been privy to countless conversations that started with, “And then that bitch…”.
The straight men I have been in relationships with and their straight male friends had one thing in common and it came up a lot.
They didn’t like and didn’t trust women. In fact, many hated women. Many of them just wanted to get laid and no one would comply. Or the ones who would comply weren’t hot enough for them. Bitches.
Certainly, in countless cases that distrust was based on actual experience. However, sometimes — ok I’ll say it, often — that “experience” was having that bitch say no. No to a date. No to sex. No to letting him use her car. Where TF does that bitch get off saying no?
A classic case of a straight man who visibly descended into a seething pit of self-pity and fury over a woman not doing as he expected was my stepfather. He was Daddy, he wasn’t some strange guy that Mom brought home. He was my dad since I was a year old. He wasn’t a warm, cuddly guy, but he loved us all equally and worked himself to death demonstrating that love. However, he became angry with Mom once they were partners in a roadhouse outside of town. Mom was beautiful and got a lot of attention when she was behind the bar.
He spent years pushing her away with accusations — often made while he was drunk — and then was shocked when she left him.
Shocked and filled with rage.
Tricky for the father of four daughters who never got the son he wanted.
In spite of the clickbaity title, this isn’t a hit piece. While I always prefer the company of queer men (and women) let’s be clear that those wimmin-hatin’ straight men didn’t get that way all on their own. They are being shafted by the very system that has convinced them that they’re owed fabulous sex with beautiful women and that the only reason they’re not getting what’s theirs is…uh…women.
While my inner Ohio-nice is casting around desperately to find something not snarky to say about straight men, about the best I can come up with is that I do socialize with them on occasion. And on one such socializing occasion, the straight man at the table mentioned that he probably wouldn’t be calling the “older” woman who cruised him pretty hard at a professional event. I had to ask.
How old is this older woman, Jake?
My age.
Case closed.
Sweeping generalization time. As a general rule, I don’t like straight men. My former partner was queer and what a revelation. The man wasn’t perfect, but he rolled with things in ways that no straight man I’ve ever known has been able to do. He could be silly and playful and, sister, the man rocked those five-inch stilettos with the leather micro-mini skirt. Even though I’d been a professional dominatrix years ago, it was in this relationship that I really discovered and came to love my inner top.
My current partner in life and art is very happy about that.
Straight men don’t like to be topped.
Too bad.
Straight men won’t allow themselves to be topped by a woman because they are afraid of women (and I’m not talking to you, Sydney, because topping from the bottom is still topping).
Straight men are afraid of women for exactly the same reason white people are afraid of black people.
And they’re right to be afraid.
Maintaining your place of power by holding others down is a dumb, dangerous way to run a society. The inevitable burning fury of those being held down is absolutely something to fear. Blinded by that fear, straight men miss out on the fun. They straighten their backs, set their faces, tighten their ties and lace up their work boots and take care of business. They’re the grownups. They plan the cities and transit systems and health care and banking and interstate highways and new subdivisions.
They’re very busy running the world.
No wonder they’re pissed off when the weekend comes around and all they want is some credit for all that hard work. What do they see? People not behaving the way they should. Where’s the gratitude? Where’s the hot blonde with the legs up to here bringing the hard-working man his beer or is it a martini? Whatever.
This is the part where I’m supposed to sum things up and provide constructive suggestions for how straight men can loosen up and become more human.
I got nothing.
Women have been organizing and working to shift that frigging boot off our necks for hundreds of years. We’re still stuck with straight (white) men legislating what we can and can’t do with our own damned bodies. If straight men don’t like being feared, resented, mocked, and hated they might consider taking a look at their actions.
Here’s a start. The woman who’s the same age as you is not “older”.
© Remington Write 2023. All Rights Reserved.
Tammy, this is exactly the essay that I needed to read right at this moment. I have gone toe-to-toe with a white heterosexual male for the second time in 2 months and I have been a little confused over what was happening. He's not a boyfriend, far from it, we work for the same people, but the underlying problem wasn't clear. Now it is! He can't handle being told "no" by a woman who has authority over him. I am going to take his job right out from under him. Thank you!
Preach Sista!
I can't disagree with a word of that xx